


Brother Mine

by Schattengestalt



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Sherlock, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Outdoor Sex, Rejection, Romance, Sibling Love, Virgin Sherlock, Vulnerable Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-17 16:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4673117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schattengestalt/pseuds/Schattengestalt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mycroft is desperate to hide his - unbrotherly - feelings from Sherlock. In the meantime, Sherlock starts an experiment of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shattered Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I always wanted to write a Holmescest story and I hope that you are going to enjoy it.  
> Hopefully, I`ll be able to post the second - and last - chapter next week, but at the latest, in a couple of weeks. It is certainly going to contain more smut - a lot more smut - than the first one, which mostly focuses on the feelings of the brothers.^^
> 
> Enough said. Enjoy it! :)

### Shattered Dreams

Dear Mycroft,

I never expected Cambridge to be so exciting, but you taught me differently. The last few months have been the best of my life and the only one, I have to thank for this, is you. Every single moment, I have spent with you, is graved into my heart and I tentatively hope that you feel the same.

The last weeks spent together with you have certainly nourished this hope and I`m happy that you aren`t as aloof as I thought, when I first met you. I wish to believe that I`m the only one so far, who has seen this caring side of you and my traitorous heart longs for me to be the last one, at whom you ever look with so much emotion.

I know that you hate emotions, but I hope that I`m the exception to that rule and that you are going to accept mine. Already, I`m counting the weeks, until the summer break is over and I`ll see you again. I wish that you would have accepted my offer to spend some time at my parents` cottage with me, but I understand that your family wants to have you at home for some time of the year.

Yours truly

William Scutterhead

 

Mycroft sneered at the letter and binned it, without even considering to formulate a reply. Here, he had thought that William - a fellow student of his - was smarter than the rest of the common population and now he had gotten the proof that he had been... wrong about it.

 

Mycroft glared at his desk, without taking in any of the papers that covered its surface. He hated being wrong, especially when it concerned such a delicate matter. No, he wasn`t talking about such nonsense like love or relationships. A disgusted shudder ran down his spine, when the thought crossed his mind. Mycroft didn`t have any friends. He had useful acquaintances, which would be of use to him in the future and some of them might believe that they were important to him. Of course, they were fools if they did, but it wasn`t Mycroft`s problem if they mistook his professional smiles and politeness for something else.

 

Admittedly, Mycroft had had a different kind of relationship with William than with most of his other acquaintances. It hadn`t even been all about physical needs... at least not for Mycroft`s lover. For Mycroft, William had been a nice distraction and a... substitute. Mycroft sighed and rubbed his eyes, when he recalled William in his mind`s eye: Tall and thin, with pale skin and plush lips, dark curls and light blue eyes, with a passion for chemistry - although his parents forced him to study economics - and a macabre humor. In short, William was...

 

Mycroft`s gaze landed on a framed picture of his brother and him - taken at Easter - and with a resigned shake of his head, Mycroft had to revise his former thoughts. William might have some similarities to Sherlock and it had certainly been easy enough to allow himself the illusion that he had found someone that suited him perfectly... but only until he had lain eyes on his brother, when he had gotten home last week. Sherlock had grown about an inch, since Mycroft had last seen him. His movements had become more graceful - he had reminded Mycroft of a panther - and Sherlock`s eyes had been filled with joy and delight, when he had greeted his older brother. No one had such eyes, a color between blue and green, sprinkled with yellow and brown spots and as deep and wild as the ocean. No, Mycroft didn`t believe that it was possible to find a second person with such eyes or someone else, who looked at him with so much love.

 

A bitter laugh escaped from Mycroft`s lips. Sherlock wouldn`t look at him like this anymore, if he only knew what his older brother was imagining in these moments. How much Mycroft wanted to claim the plush lips of his brother with his own and tangle his fingers in Sherlock`s messy curls, while he pressed him against a wall and...

 

No, that alone probably wouldn`t drive Sherlock away. His younger brother saw the world differently than most people and he wouldn`t be disgusted if he got to know that Mycroft lusted after him. Maybe, Sherlock would even be willing to give it a try and treat it like one of his experiments for science. Oh dear, it would be so much easier if Mycroft only wanted to bed his younger brother and be done with it, wouldn`t it?

 

The young man shook his head, a sad smile on his lips. He had always known that emotions were dangerous and that it was important to appear cold and aloof if he didn`t want to become prey for others. Mycroft had practiced hiding his emotions from an early age on. It hadn`t been hard, especially since their parents didn`t expect their children to show more than respect and politeness towards them and Mycroft disliked most of his peers either way. Therefore, the only person, Mycroft still held love and affection for, was his dear, little brother. Mycroft could have lived with loving Sherlock in a brotherly way and being attracted to his body at the same time. Attraction could be ignored, but not the painful love, Mycroft felt whenever he thought of his little brother. A love that sat deep within his heart and made the silly organ ache, whenever Mycroft imagined Sherlock with someone else. A love, that made his fingers itch to reach out for Sherlock and bed the messy curls on his shoulder, while they sat in front of the fireplace. A love, which demanded lazy mornings with breakfast in bed and his brother`s laugh as the only sound in the house.

 

These were the roots of Mycroft`s feelings for Sherlock - the physical affection only a tiny part of it - and if his younger brother ever got to know of them, then... he would certainly laugh at Mycroft. For all that Mycroft was sure that Sherlock held a certain amount of love for him, he was also certain that his brother just didn`t like romantic feelings. After all, Sherlock had more often than not scoffed at the idea of undying love or even romantic relationships, when one of their parents` guests had brought the topic up. Mycroft would never live it down, if he ever confessed his feelings for Sherlock. His little brother would tease him mercilessly and Mycroft wasn`t so sure if his heart would survive such an attack. 

 

Of course, he could try to seduce Sherlock to claim at least that part of his little brother for himself, before someone else got their hands into his pants and marked the sixteen year old as their own. A horrible thought - one that made the blood boil in his veins - but Mycroft doubted that he would be able to separate his body`s and his heart`s needs and then...

 

No, better to ignore all of his needs and feelings, before Sherlock was able to pick up on any of them. Mycroft nodded to himself and then glanced at the clock on the wall. It was past ten in the evening - dawning outside - and probably as good a time as any to call it a day, since Mycroft wouldn`t be able to get any of his work done today. Not after investing so much of his energy into thinking about his beloved, little brother.

 

He already threatened tomorrow morning, when he had to face Sherlock at breakfast. For the last couple of weeks at least their parents had been at home and Mycroft had been able to focus his attention on a conversation with their father about politics instead of staring at Sherlock the whole time. But their parents had gone away on holidays this very morning and that meant that Mycroft would be alone with his little brother for the next four weeks - the cook and the maiden didn`t count.

 

A tortured groan escaped his lips and Mycroft almost tore at his hair, before stopping himself just in time. He didn`t have the luxury of Sherlock`s wild, thick curls and it would be obvious to his little brother if some of his hair had been sacrificed in a fit. Then, Sherlock would want to know what had upset his older brother so much - he was curious as a cat - and sooner or later he would find out about Mycroft`s hidden feelings and...

 

A knock at the door, prevented Mycroft from having a minor panic attack, although his heart still started beating faster, when the door was opened and Sherlock slipped into his bedroom. Dear God, Mycroft was only barely able to stop himself from licking his lips at the sight of his little brother. If he had thought, Sherlock looked beautiful during dinner - when he had worn jeans and a short-sleeved button down - then Mycroft didn`t know what to call him now. His pajama bottoms sat low on his hips and revealed a part of pale skin, where Sherlock`s shirt had ridden up. It was much too short and tight for his little brother, a tiny part of Mycroft`s brain realized, even while he was busy taking in Sherlock`s tousled curls and his bright blue eyes. Especially endearing was the way a pink tongue darted out to lick plush lips as Sherlock regarded his older brother almost shyly.

 

Right... something was wrong then. Sherlock wasn`t shy. Oh yes, he was able to play shy, but it wasn`t in his nature to fidget with the hem of his shirt and avoid someone`s eyes, especially not Mycroft`s. Several scenarios of what could have happened - from an exploded microwave to a flooding of the bathroom - ran through Mycroft`s mind, but he wasn`t able to deduce the truth from his brother.

 

He sighed .So much for a - more or less - relaxed evening and trying not to think of his little brother."What is it, Sherlock? Did something happen? Did one of your experiments go wrong or have you set fire to the kitchen table?"

 

A smile tucked at his little brother`s lips as he took a few steps towards Mycroft. "Nothing has happened or rather... not yet, therefore the outcome of the experiment is still open."

 

Mycroft frowned at that, even as he tried to will away the slight panic that was welling up in him. The last time, Sherlock had made such an announcement, he had put a few drops of hydrofluoric acid on the couch to find out how long it took the acid to eat through the fabric. He didn`t even want to recall how much effort it had taken to deposit of the couch and get a new one to prevent their parents from finding out about Sherlock`s latest stunt. "Sherlock, I swear to you, if you have spilled acid in the bathtub or heated blood in the microwave, I`ll..."

 

Mycroft never got around to voice a threat, when Sherlock crossed the remaining space between them and pressed his lips to his brother`s.

 

The elder Holmes` gasped in surprise, allowing a curious tongue to slip into his mouth, before Mycroft`s brain was even able to process what was happening. One second, he was thinking of all the horrible things, Sherlock could have done to the house and now... they were kissing. Soft lips moving against Mycroft`s. Sherlock`s tongue exploring his mouth. Hands in his hair and on his neck. The taste of herb lemonade and chocolate. Sherlock sucking on his lower lip and...

 

His little brother`s former words came back to Mycroft and his eyes snapped open, when he remembered Sherlock talking about an experiment. Of course, what else could that be if not some queer idea of his little brother. With a large effort of will, Mycroft put his hands on Sherlock`s shoulders and pushed him away. Their lips separated with a smacking sound, followed by a protesting moan from Sherlock.

 

"What`s that all about, Sherlock?" Mycroft withstood the urge to shake his little brother, who was staring wide eyed at him.

 

"A kiss."

 

Mycroft grinded his teeth and stopped himself from snapping at Sherlock for stating the obvious. Instead, he asked calmly - more calmly than he had thought possible, while still tasting Sherlock on his lips. "What did make you think that it was a good idea to kiss me, your own brother?"

 

Under different circumstances, Mycroft wouldn`t have put so much emphasis into the last three words. If he had thought that Sherlock was serious and that the kiss meant more to him than gathering data... Mycroft would have already have his brother stripped naked and gasping for breath. But, it wasn`t possible that Sherlock even felt half as much affection for his brother as Mycroft did. He had ruled that possibility out a long time ago.

 

Sherlock licked his lips and Mycroft cursed him inwardly for that movement. Reminding him of the tingling sensation in his own lips once more. "I wanted to know what it feels like."

 

Mycroft raised an eyebrow at that and managed to remain cool and collected outwardly, when he glared slightly at his little brother. "You mean, how it feels like to kiss your brother?"

 

Sherlock shook his head and Mycroft braced himself for the cutting words that were about to come. "I wanted to know how it feels to kiss someone I... care for."

 

Mycroft`s heart skipped a beat and tentative hope started to blossom in his chest, until it was squashed by Sherlock`s next words. "Everyone is talking about... sex." A faint blush spread over Sherlock`s cheeks. "And I wanted to know what it feels like, therefore I..."

 

"You came here to seduce me, your own brother, in order to satisfy your curiosity." Mycroft jumped up from his chair and pushed Sherlock farther away, so that the young man stumbled against the wardrobe. The elder Holmes couldn`t remember the last time, he had been so angry at Sherlock. It wasn`t because of a simple kiss, but because his brother thought that he could use Mycroft to get scientific data about sex and then threw him away like his other finished experiments. If Sherlock`s actions had at least been based on sexual attraction to his brother, Mycroft wouldn`t have been angry at him. Disappointed, yes, but he could have turned Sherlock away kindly to prevent his brother from noticing Mycroft`s feelings for him. Now though, Mycroft`s gaze moved agitated over Sherlock`s body, while his heart beat painfully against his ribcage. His next words were completely fueled by anger and disappointment as Mycroft snapped at his younger brother.

 

"Do you really think that you could seduce me like that?" Mycroft pointed at Sherlock`s too tight shirt and forced a snort past his throat. "You look like a little boy, who wants to play with adults, without knowing how to pull it off. I`m certainly not interested in sixteen-year olds with unkempt hair and lanky bodies, who don`t even know how to kiss properly, not to mention that you are my brother." Mycroft noticed the movement of Sherlock`s Adam`s apple popping up and down, when he swallowed hard, but in this moment he didn`t care if he was hurting his little brother. Everything in Mycroft screamed for him to protect himself - his heart and his abused feelings - and for once in his life, he was going with his instincts. Even if every word he said, was a lie. "There are much handsomer men at Cambridge and believe me, when I tell you, Sherlock, that they are more experienced than you are... which probably isn`t hard." Hard grey eyes bore into glistening blue ones. "No one wants to fuck with an insecure, unappealing virgin, Sherlock! At least no one with half a brain, but I`m sure that one of your peers will happily deflower you... once, they have turned the light off."

 

A sob echoed through the room. Betrayed, blue eyes - swimming with tears - stared at Mycroft and the elder Holmes suddenly felt sick to the stomach for what he had just thrown at Sherlock. Dear God, how could he lose it like that and hurt the most important person in his life so badly? Yes, he was angry at Sherlock for making an experiment out of kissing him, but... No, it didn`t justify Mycroft`s reaction at all. "Sherlock," he started, unsure of what to say - how to apologize - but his younger brother only shook his head.

 

"Don`t Mycroft, you have made your point... I certainly won`t bother you... again." Sherlock`s voice came out strained. "I`ll just... follow your advice." A single tear slipped down a pale cheek and for a second, Mycroft follow its train with wide eyes, before Sherlock turned around and all but bolted from the room.

 

Christ!

 

Mycroft shook his head and sank back down on his chair. All the anger had drained from him and in its place was only regret for how poorly he had handled that situation. Sherlock`s pained and tearful eyes appeared in his mind and a strained groan escaped Mycroft`s lips. Firstly, he thought about how much he loved Sherlock and now... he had hurt him like no one else before him.

 

A strangled laugh echoed through the room. Lusting after his little brother and then tearing him to bits with his sharp tongue... Mycroft was the worst brother that had ever walked on this earth.

 

OOO

 

It hurt so much.

 

Sherlock stumbled through the door into his bedroom and shut it behind him. He didn`t bother to lock it, since there was no one in the house, who was going to disturb him at that hour of the day. Their parents were away on holidays - Sherlock couldn`t remember where they had gone to - and the staff had already left for the day. That left only Mycroft and him at home and... Sherlock doubted that his brother would seek him out after what had happened.

 

A pained sob was ripped from Sherlock`s throat as he recalled the hateful words of his elder brother.

 

"There are much handsomer men at Cambridge"

 

Tears ran freely down Sherlock`s face and the young man didn`t care how pathetic he looked right now. Standing in the middle of his room, with fists clenched at his sides and shaking all over, while he imagined his brother with other men. Of course, Sherlock wasn`t enchanted enough to believe that Mycroft didn`t have indulged in sexual activities until now. He was twenty-three after all and Sherlock was certain that there were enough people - men and women - that were drawn to his brother. No, Mycroft`s affairs - Sherlock doubted they could be called relationships - weren`t the point. The point was... that he had managed not to imagine his brother with others, until today. Now, his mind almost overflowed with images of his brother with strangers. Kissing them. Touching them. Sucking them. Fu... sleeping with them.

 

A quiet whimper slipped from Sherlock`s lips, even as he scolded himself a fool for ever hoping that Mycroft would think of him in a... sexual way.

 

Stupid!

 

And yet, Sherlock had truly believed that he would be successful with his seduction. He hadn`t missed the way, Mycroft stared at him sometimes - a quiet longing in his eyes - and Sherlock had decided to work with that. He had known that it would be too much to hope for more than a sexual encounter with his elder brother. After all, Mycroft had made it clear more than once that he didn`t do relationships and detested emotions. Therefore, Sherlock hadn`t even dared entertaining the idea that Mycroft would reciprocate his feelings, but at least he would have had one time with his elder brother. A few happy moments, for which Sherlock could have imagined that his brother returned his feelings and that they were lovers in every sense of the word. It was all Sherlock had hoped for and now...

 

"No one wants to fuck with an insecure, unappealing virgin, Sherlock!"

 

More tears fell from Sherlock`s eyes, when he looked up to meet his reflection in the mirror. His hair looked like a bird`s nest. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy. His cheeks were flushed from crying and smeared with tears. His T-shirt did nothing to hide how thin he was - scrawny even - and Sherlock could almost count his ribs through the fabric. His hipbones were much too sharp. His legs were long, but thin and Sherlock didn`t have to turn around to know that he didn`t have much of a bottom to call his own. No wonder, Mycroft didn`t want to sleep with him, Sherlock thought bitterly, as new tears welled up in his eyes. His elder brother was probably used to much better looking blokes by now and even if he wasn`t... Mycroft had made it clear that he wasn`t interested in virgins.

 

The next sob brought Sherlock to his knees. He slung his arms around his chest and hunched over as wave after wave of pain flowed through him. More pain with every beat of his heart and Sherlock just wished that the organ would stop its stupid rhythm. Of what use was it, when it only ever caused him pain? It wasn`t even like someone was interested in its existence in Sherlock`s chest. His teachers were only interested in his intellect. Mother and father needed him to parade around at parties. Sherlock didn`t have any friends and Mycroft...

 

"I hate you! I hate you... Myc!" Sherlock sobbed, although he didn`t believe his own words for a second. He could never hate his elder brother, not even now. Sherlock only... hated himself. He hated how he looked. He hated what he felt. He hated his traitorous heart and he hated... that he was born a Holmes! Maybe, if Mycroft and he hadn`t been brothers, they would have... No, that was stupid.

 

A bitter laugh tumbled from Sherlock`s lips. Mycroft hadn`t rejected him on the base of them being brothers - at least that, Sherlock would have understood - but on how Sherlock looked and how inexperienced he was.

 

"But I`m sure that one of your peers will happily deflower you"

 

For a brief second, Sherlock considered the idea... and shuddered with disgust. No, the imagination of one of his peers kissing and touching him was enough to make him want to retch. Maybe there was something wrong with him for having never wanted anyone besides his brother. Everyone already appeared to think that Sherlock wasn`t normal - a freak, a weirdo - and they might even be right. Maybe, it would have been better if he had never been born. At least that way, Sherlock wouldn`t have to endure the pain that surged through him right now.

 

Still sniffling, but too tired to cry in earnest, Sherlock curled up on his side in a fetal position and closed his eyes. If he was very lucky, he wouldn`t wake up again in the morning. Although the chances for it were close to nil, the thought was more comforting to Sherlock - as he drifted off to sleep - than he could even admit to himself.

 

OOO

 

He was such an asshole!

 

Mycroft glared at his reflection in the mirror with disgust. He had thought that a quick shower would calm his nerves, but the opposite was true. If possible, Mycroft was even more angry with himself for what he had thrown at Sherlock - his perfect, beautiful, little brother.

 

For Christ`s sake, Mycroft loved him, but instead of admitting his feelings to Sherlock and explaining to him why it was impossible for him to have a one off with his brother... Mycroft had insulted him worse than most of Sherlock`s peers had ever done. Pale grey eyes, filled with regret and contempt stared back at the young man. Now, that his mind had cleared a little, it was obvious to Mycroft that he had completely overreacted. Yes, Sherlock`s idea of an experiment had been awful, but his little brother didn`t know about Mycroft`s feelings for him. Therefore, it had never been his brother`s intention to hurt him.

 

Of course, it was much too late for such helpful insights by now. The damage was done. Sherlock was hurt and would probably never want to speak with Mycroft again and the young man wouldn`t even be able to blame him. It was all his fault after all and... Dear God, the look in Sherlock`s eyes, when Mycroft had told him to find someone else to sleep with. Something constricted painfully in his chest as Mycroft squeezed his eyes shut, when he remembered the tearful, blue eyes and the look of betrayal in them. Sherlock had offered him his virginity - no matter his reasons - and Mycroft had thrown that gift aside like it meant nothing. Like it was shameful for Sherlock to still be a virgin and that Mycroft despised him for it. Like he wanted his little brother to get it over with and find someone...

 

Grey eyes snapped open and widened in panic, as the horrible image of Sherlock in someone`s else arms flashed through Mycroft`s mind. And he could very well picture Sherlock going to one of his peers to get shagged, only to spite his elder brother. It wouldn`t give Sherlock any trouble to find someone willing to put their hands on him. No matter what Mycroft had thrown at Sherlock, his little brother was bloody gorgeous. A blind could notice that, but... they wouldn`t treat Sherlock the way he deserved to be treated. They wouldn`t worship his body and tell him how marvelous he was, while taking their time... No, they would probably tore the clothes off of Sherlock and ravish him, before his little brother didn`t even know what was going on.

 

Before Mycroft could think twice about his next actions, he was already putting his pajamas on and hurrying out of his room in search of Sherlock. Even if his little brother punched him - which Mycroft deserved - or laughed at him - which would be worse - he would make sure that Sherlock knew how much he was loved. After all - and the thought spurted Mycroft farther on - it spoke of immense trust to offer your first time to someone. Mycroft prayed that he hadn`t destroyed all of it, with his cruel words, when he stopped in front of Sherlock`s room and knocked.

 

No reply!

 

Mycroft strained his ears as he listened for any sounds from the inside. Nothing. It was quiet, extremely quiet. No cursing or crying. No thrown objects or explosions, only silence. The young man swallowed hard. If Sherlock had gone out and thrown his first time away, because of him, then... Mycroft would never forgive himself.

 

Seconds ticked by, in which he kept staring at the wooden door, willing it to reveal the secrets that lay behind it, without having to open it. How bad would it be if Mycroft opened the door to an empty bedroom? His breath caught in his throat and Mycroft almost turned away and went back to his own room, but then he shook his head at the idea. No, he wouldn`t run away from Sherlock. He would face the mess he had caused and do everything in his power to undo his mistakes. That was the least, Mycroft owed to Sherlock.

 

Steeling himself, the young man grabbed the handle and yanked it down with more force then was strictly necessary. The door opened to the twilight of Sherlock`s room and for a moment, Mycroft feared that he was too late. Sherlock`s bed was empty and he wasn`t at his desk. The open door to the adjoining bathroom revealed that his little brother wasn`t in there either and...

 

His eyes fell on the huddled figure on the ground and Mycroft`s heart skipped a beat. "Sherlock," Mycroft breathed and sank down next to his little brother. He reached out with a trembling hand and touched Sherlock`s tear streaked face. The skin was cold and wet under his fingertips and Mycroft swallowed against the lump in his throat. It was all his fault. He had done this to his little brother, had hurt and humiliated Sherlock like he meant nothing to Mycroft. 

 

"Oh Sherlock," Mycroft`s voice cracked, when he ran his fingers through the messy curls. "I`m so sorry. I don`t deserve you." As soon as the words had left his mouth, Mycroft knew that they were true. He didn`t deserve someone like Sherlock. A bright young man, beautiful and attractive, capable of so much love if someone only gave him a chance to show his feelings, without judging him for his quirks. Mycroft had always dreamed about being the man, who would show Sherlock what it meant to be loved unconditionally, without ever realising that the expectations he had of his little brother were far too high to achieve that level of love. If Sherlock were his lover, Mycroft would want him to...

 

But no, it was useless to think about such things now. A humorless laugh tumbled from Mycroft`s lips as he kept on stroking Sherlock`s curls. He had ruined everything and it would be a miracle if his little brother ever so much as smiled at him again. "I`m so, so sorry, Sherlock." Mycroft almost chocked on his own words, when he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to his brother`s forehead. A last brief contact, before he had to wake his little brother and face the consequences for his thoughtless actions. If Sherlock had at least lain in bed, Mycroft could have left, but he couldn`t leave his little brother lying on the cold floor.

 

"Sherlock." Mycroft shook the shoulder of his brother. "Wake up, Sherlock."

 

Slowly, blue eyes blinked open, still confused and sleepy, and settled on Mycroft. "Myc, what is..."

 

Mycroft was able to pinpoint the exact moment, when Sherlock remembered the events from this evening. A gasp fell from Sherlock`s lips as his eyes widened in horror and he scrambled to his feet, away from Mycroft. "What do you want here?"

 

It was obvious that the question was intended to be cutting, but the tremble in Sherlock`s voice was unmistakable and Mycroft`s heart clenched as he took in the posture of his brother. Sherlock had his fists clenched at his side. Tremors shook the slender body and from the way he was biting his lower lip and blinking rapidly, it was obvious to Mycroft that Sherlock was fighting his tears. An answering, burning sensation started in Mycroft`s eyes, but he pushed it away. He didn`t have the right to cry, after what he had done. Slowly, the elder man got to his feet and met his brother`s gaze. "I wanted to make sure that you were alright."

 

A hollow laugh echoed through the room and teary eyes glared fiercely at Mycroft. "Oh, that`s rich of you. Checking on your stupid little brother to make sure that... What, Mycroft? Where you afraid that I had gone out and found someone, who was willing to fuck me?" Mycroft had never heard his little brother sounding as bitter as he did now. "Or maybe you were counting on it. Waiting until someone had taught the inexperienced virgin how to get a man off and how to put his bottom and mouth to good use, so that you could have a good shag with me later, but... No!" Mycroft hated the self-hatred that filled his brother`s voice, when he continued. "You wouldn`t do that, because you find me so appalling that you wouldn`t even get it up with me or... did you only say that, because we are brothers and you are a giant git?" 

 

There was real hope in Sherlock`s voice, when he voiced the last question and Mycroft had to stop himself from reaching out for his brother and enfolding him in his arms. Instead he shook his head and Sherlock`s face fell. "Of course not, me being your brother wouldn`t be as much a hindrance as my scrawny body."

 

Sherlock blinked. A tear fell from his eyelashes and ran down his cheek. Grey eyes followed its way, even as another joined the first and suddenly Mycroft couldn`t stand it any longer. No matter what would happen later, Mycroft wouldn`t allow his little brother to believe for one more second that he was unattractive and unloved.

 

"I lied."

 

Blue eyes snapped up at that. "About what? That no one would ever fuck me or that you would never do it?"

 

Mycroft flinched at the cruel words, but somehow he managed to retain his composure, at least for now. "Everything."

 

The word hung in the air between them like the sword of Damocles and Mycroft didn`t dare breathing, while he waited for Sherlock to figure out the meaning behind it.

 

OOO

 

Sherlock stared at Mycroft in disbelief. It was fairly obvious what his brother was implying with his reply, but... that couldn`t be true.

 

Sherlock shook his head slowly, even as his traitorous heart skipped a beat in hope. Mycroft was a master at manipulating people and just because he wanted Sherlock to believe that he wasn`t averse to the idea of sleeping with him or didn`t think that Sherlock was unattractive, didn`t mean that it was true. Then again, why would Mycroft lie about it?

 

Sherlock blinked slowly and a single tear slid down his cheek as in reply to his question. Of course, the young man grinded his teeth, when he noticed Mycroft`s worried looked - aimed at him - and scolded himself for almost falling for such a obvious lie. Obviously, his big brother felt bad about what he had thrown at Sherlock and now tried to make up for it with lies. He would have almost laughed at the absurdity of it, if Sherlock hadn`t feared that it would emerge as a sob instead.

 

"You don`t have to pity me." Sherlock directed his gaze to the floor, so that he didn`t have to meet his brother`s eyes any longer. "Let`s just pretend it never happened and..."

 

"No!"

 

Startled, Sherlock stumbled back, when Mycroft took a few steps towards him, until only a few inches remained between them. Grey eyes were gazing down at the young man, as intensive as Sherlock had never seen them before. Usually, it was impossible to read anything in Mycroft`s face, but this time, his expression practically radiated emotions and Sherlock had a hard time to pinpoint what exactly he was seeing. Desperation - definitely, although Sherlock wasn`t sure why his brother should be desperate. Fear - of what was Mycroft afraid? Anger - directed at Sherlock or at someone else? Hope - was his brother hoping that their conversation would be over soon? Sherlock shook his head. He didn`t understand what he was seeing and why he was seeing it and... he was much too tired for such games right now.

 

He sighed quietly. "You tell me that everything you told me was a lie, yet, it was obvious that you didn`t want to sleep with me, when I came to you. How does that make sense?"

 

A lopsided smile appeared on Mycroft`s face, but it didn`t reach his eyes. "It makes sense when you take into consideration that you proposed to me to be part of one of your experiments, little brother."

 

If Sherlock had been confused before, he was completely lost after this comment. Mycroft must have read it in his face, since the young man heaved a long suffering sigh. The kind of sigh, he had specifically reserved for times when Sherlock didn`t keep up with him. "I didn`t want to sleep with you for an experiment, but I want to sleep with you."

 

Sherlock gaped. Somehow, that even made sense. Mycroft hated to be part of an experiment and maybe he didn`t approve of Sherlock`s scientific methods. Not that he had wanted to sleep with his brother to gain data, but... Mycroft didn`t know that.

 

"So, you are... attracted to me?" It was more than Sherlock had dared hoping for and although it would be less than he wanted, he would make do with it, if he had to. It would be better to have mere physical connection with his brother - beyond their shared genes - than to never be in the arms of the man, Sherlock loved.

 

To his astonishment, Mycroft managed nodding and shaking his head at once. "Yes, I`m attracted to you, but," Mycroft shifted his weight nervously and when he spoke, it was to the wardrobe, without meeting Sherlock`s eyes. "I don`t want a mere physical... I have feelings for you, Sherlock... deeper feelings than for a brother and that`s why," Mycroft inhaled deeply and Sherlock held his breath, while his heart fluttered nervously in his chest. "I was angry when you proposed an experiment, because... I don`t want you for an experiment, I want you... completely. All of you. Forever."

 

Sherlock exhaled, when his lungs felt like they might burst and it still didn`t stop his heart from pounding away against his ribcage. He had always dreamed about that moment, when Mycroft would admit his feelings for him and Sherlock wouldn`t have to be alone anymore. Of course, he had never dared hoping that this fantasy would ever come true. It would have killed Sherlock, if he had allowed his mind to wander down that path, where only heartbreak and tears lay in wait for him... or so he had thought.

 

Sherlock glanced up at his brother and there it was again, plainly written in every line on his face... Fear. Mycroft was afraid of his reply and... the whole situation was so ridiculous and sad all at once, that Sherlock couldn`t hold back a low giggle. There, they were - the most brilliant men of their age in Britain - and neither of them had realised how much they meant to each other. And it was clear from Mycroft`s stammering - a Mycroft Holmes didn`t usually stammer - that he had been telling the truth and Sherlock...

 

"Good to see you back to your old self. I`m glad that you find that so amusing." The words were sneered, but Sherlock still noticed the slight crack in his brother`s words and saw the hurt flicker through grey eyes, before it was masked. "In this case, I`ll just leave you alone and..."

 

"No, Myc!" Sherlock grabbed his brother`s arm and held him back. "I wasn`t laughing at you. I was... laughing at us. The situation."

 

Mycroft furrowed his brow and tapped his left foot impatiently against the floor. A sign that he didn`t understand what Sherlock was talking about and that the younger man had better hurry on and explain himself, before Mycroft lost his patience.

 

"We are both," Sherlock licked his lips nervously, unsure of how to phrase his words. "I didn`t really want to... experiment. I just wanted... I thought it was the only way of... convincing you to sleep with me. I thought," Sherlock gulped and stared at their feet. "That it would be the only reason you would ever sleep with me and that... a night with you would be all, I would ever... get."

 

Silence followed his confession and Sherlock squeezed his eyes shut against the humiliating burn of new tears. Maybe he had misinterpreted everything and Mycroft hadn`t really meant what Sherlock had thought his words implied. Maybe, his hopeful heart had turned around the meaning of Mycroft`s words and his brother was going to laugh at him any second now. Or worse... his brother would tell Sherlock that he was honored by his feelings, but that he would never return them.

 

"Sherlock," Mycroft`s voice was gentle - careful, as if he was treating on glass. "Are you saying that you want to have a... romantic relationship with me?" Disbelief swung clearly in Mycroft`s words and for a second, Sherlock considered denying it, but then... he wasn`t a coward.

 

Sherlock nodded. "Yes."

 

A deep exhale. Sherlock`s whole body tensed, when he felt Mycroft approaching him, crossing the last few inches between them and... enfolding him in his arms.

 

"Myc!"

 

The arms around him tightened and soft lips were pressed to Sherlock`s forehead. "I want that as well, Sherly!"

 

His whole body went limp - his muscles going slack all at once - at being addressed by Mycroft`s endearment for him. His brother hadn`t used it in years and hearing it now, while they were so close together and... it was too much for Sherlock. Hot tears - partly due to relief and mostly due to happiness - sprung to his eyes, as Sherlock hid his face in the crook of Mycroft`s neck and clung to his brother like he was his only lifeline.

 

"Shh, it`s alright." More kisses were pressed to Sherlock`s forehead and hair, while his brother managed to maneuver them backwards at the same time, until Sherlock`s legs connected with his bed.

 

He looked up at his brother - a silent question in his eyes and unashamed of his tears - but Mycroft only shook his head and gestured for Sherlock to slip under the covers. "Now wouldn`t be the right time for anything besides sleeping, don`t you agree?"

 

Sherlock pursed his lips and nodded. "Cuddling?" He suggested shyly and was rewarded with a brilliant smile as Mycroft ruffled his hair and drew the covers back. "That`s acceptable."

 

Smiling, Sherlock snuggled up to his brother after they had laid down and although he wanted to cherish the time spent with Mycroft like this, sleep claimed Sherlock, before he had even gotten the chance to steal another kiss from his brother.

 

OOO

 

Sunlight filtered through the thin curtains and brightened the room considerably. Birds were chirping outside, in welcome of the new day. Dogs were barking on their morning walk and the trees rustled pleasantly.

 

"Oh, for God`s sake! Can`t everything just shut up!" Sherlock groaned in his pillow and turned away from the offending sunlight that had tickled his nose, until he had been awake. And now that he was awake, Sherlock was unable to get back to sleep. His mind was working on overdrive again, analyzing the information that were hauled at it and... it was annoying. Sherlock didn`t need to know that the barking dog detested his mistress, because she only took him out for walks as an excuse to meet up with her lover. It was also uninteresting to him that they would reach the thirty degree mark by midday or that the evening held the promise of a heavy thunderstorm. He didn`t care that the birds - chirping outside - were mostly siblings and had been born this spring.

 

Sherlock hid his head under the pillow. "Shut the damn window and make that noises stop, Myc," he whined and only blinked his eyes open when there was no reply. His heart thundered in his chest, when Sherlock peeked out from underneath the pillow and glanced at the empty half of his bed.

 

Mycroft was gone.

 

Sherlock gulped and tried to push away the panic that was attempting to overwhelm him. It didn`t have to mean anything. Maybe, his brother had only needed to use the toilet and... No, that wasn`t the case, if Sherlock was to believe the warmth - or rather cold - of the mattress were Mycroft had lain. Judging from the weight of his brother - around hundred and sixty pounds - and the temperature outside, his brother had left the bed about an hour ago. Much too long for a session in the bathroom, even with an added shower.

 

Sherlock squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to give into the pathetic tears that threatened to spill over. He had cried enough for a lifetime, yesterday and it obviously wasn`t of any significant use. If possible, it had only reduced Sherlock`s powers of observation, otherwise he would have noticed right away that Mycroft was only humoring him. His brother`s stammered confession of feelings and how he had held Sherlock in his arms... everything had only been a trick. Otherwise, Mycroft wouldn`t have left as soon as he had woken up. He would have stayed with Sherlock or woken him with a soft kiss and... 

 

No, stop that!

 

Sherlock glared angrily at his pillow, when his mind wandered down this train of thoughts. It was of no use. Mycroft had made his decision and Sherlock would have to live with it. He should be thankful for having experienced a few happy moments with his brother by his side. After all, they would have to carry him through a lifetime without Mycroft. 

 

Sherlock took a shaking breath and tried to get himself back under control, while he told himself that it was better this way. At least, he would be able to get over Mycroft now and... what? Go back to school like nothing had happened? Start university, next year, like he cared about it, when it didn`t give Sherlock the chance to leave the house and live with his brother? No, this situation definitely wasn`t better than it had been yesterday. At least, twenty-four hours ago, Sherlock had had the luxury to dream about a future with Mycroft and now he didn`t have anything left.

 

Blue eyes kept staring at the pillow, their brightness slowly darkened by the prospect of the upcoming days and even years, their owner so absorbed in his joyless musings that he startled when the door opened. Sherlock`s head snapped up and his eyes widened in disbelief as he took in the picture of his brother, carrying a tray, with an giant amount of food on it.

 

"Stop gaping and move over, if you don`t help me carrying it," Mycroft ordered, but without much heat in his voice. Still speechless, Sherlock did as he was told and watched in awe, how his brother balanced the tray on the edge of the nightstand - while he climbed back into bed - before setting it down in his lap.

 

"What," Sherlock started and stopped mid-sentence, when he took in the whole arrangement. There were two plates - one with eggs and bacon and the other with pancakes, graced with lots of honey - and two mugs filled with black tea. But the most fascinating was the single, red rose in a small water glass. It was obvious to Sherlock that it was one of the roses that grew in their garden. The half-opened head of the rose and the completely green stem proved that it had only been cut a few minutes ago.

 

Sherlock blinked in disbelief as he tried to wrap his mind around this... romantic gesture. He had never thought of his brother as a romantic, but he had obviously been wrong. Add to this the fact that Sherlock had believed Mycroft had lied to him about his feelings and the young man was completely baffled.

 

"Do you like it?" The voice of his brother sounded as nervous as Sherlock had ever heard it. Carefully, he turned his head to meet Mycroft`s flushed face and insecure eyes. The sight was enough to make Sherlock push away any lingering doubts. A small smile tucked at his lips and before Sherlock knew what he was doing, he leaned forward to press a shy kiss to Mycroft`s jaw. "It`s fantastic and you even added extra honey, but" Sherlock wriggled his eyebrows at his brother. "I thought that you only get to breakfast in bed, after you have indulged in more exhausting activities than sleep." The young man couldn`t help the faint blush that crept into his cheeks, but Mycroft only commented on it with a grin and a chaste kiss of his own.

 

"When have we ever cared about normal?"

 

Mycroft had a point and Sherlock only nodded in agreement as he cut off the first bite of pancake and sighed happily as the sweet taste of honey exploded on his tongue. A low chuckle sounded next to him, but Sherlock ignored it in favor of stuffing himself with pancake and honey.

 

They enjoyed their breakfast in silence and then snuggled back together, after the tray had been put to the floor and the vase on the nightstand. Sherlock sighed happily and nuzzled his nose against his brother`s throat. "If we don`t do things the way other people do it... does that mean no breakfast in bed after sex?" The question came out playfully enough, but Sherlock still held his breath, when he waited for Mycroft`s reply. After all, they hadn`t done anything besides cuddling and exchanging chaste kisses and although Mycroft had told Sherlock that he found him attractive, it could still mean that his brother wouldn`t have sex with him. That he wouldn`t want to cross that line with Sherlock and...

 

"That depends at what time of the day we have sex and in which state the kitchen is, after one of your experiments." The words lifted a weight from Sherlock`s heart and he smiled in relief as it appeared that he would finally have everything, he had ever dreamed of.

 

He propped himself up on his elbow to lean over his brother and finally kiss him for real - the kiss from yesterday didn`t count - when Mycroft`s voice stopped him. "Let`s take it slow, Sherly," he murmured, a hand stroking Sherlock`s cheek. "I don`t mind snogging in bed, but I want to take this relationship one step at a time."

 

Sherlock frowned down at him. "If you think you have to hold back out of consideration for my lack of experience, then I can assure you that you don`t have to do that. I really want to sleep with you."

 

Mycroft nodded, his hands framing Sherlock`s face. Grey eyes soft as they took him in. "I also want to sleep with you, but at the same time, I don`t want to rush anything. I want to savor every little step we take. I want to take you out for dinner and to the cinema. I want to go swimming with you and bath in the sun afterwards. I want to make you recall the solar system by pointing out every constellation to you and I want to have breakfast in bed with you as often as possible."

 

Mycroft`s face was crimson, when he finished his little speech, but Sherlock didn`t have it in him to tease his brother for being a helpless romantic or making comments about his blood pressure. Not, when Sherlock was equally flushed and his heart was beating madly in his chest. This was so much better than what he had dreamed of and Sherlock would be foolish to reject Mycroft`s idea of a relationship, especially when it sounded like...

 

"You are courting me."

 

If possible Mycroft turned even redder, the blush spreading over his neck and to his chest and Sherlock grinned. The Victorian novels in their library were obviously his brother`s and not their mother`s - as Sherlock had believed - but the young man wouldn`t complain. Instead Sherlock dipped his head forward and pressed their lips lightly together. "In this case, I accept."

 

A second passed by in solemn silence, until a muscle twitched in Mycroft`s face and both brothers erupted in laughter that echoed through the sun filled bedroom. The higher climbing sun the only witness to the smiles and kisses the brothers exchanged for the better part of the day.


	2. Fulfilling Reality

### Fulfilling Reality

"These three stars are called Mintaka, Alnilam and Alnitak. They form Orion`s Belt and if you follow their line, you will look directly at Sirius, the brightest star at the firmament. And if you follow an invisible line to the left from Sirius, then..."

 

"Oh, Myc, please stop it!"

 

Mycroft grinned at Sherlock`s desperate plea, but stopped pointing out the constellations on the night sky to him. His brother had already humored him for far longer than Mycroft had ever thought possible, considering how little Sherlock cared about the solar system. The young man had been rather shocked, when he had found out that his little brother didn`t know that the earth rotated around the sun.

 

"You can practice deleting information with everything I have told you tonight," Mycroft suggested and was met with a snort. "I would have to delete the whole evening for that to work and I... don`t want to do that." Bright blue eyes looked up at Mycroft, from where Sherlock`s head was bedded on his shoulder and the young man felt a spark of warmth settle in the pit of his stomach. He still wasn`t used to having Sherlock in his life like that. Every moment they spent together was a small miracle to the young man and he intended to enjoy every second of it. And knowing that Sherlock felt the same way... it made everything even more perfect. They had spoken about moving in together, once Sherlock had finished school and went to university. The realisation of this plan was still a year away, but it would give Mycroft the time to find a suitable apartment close to Cambridge. He didn`t doubt that he would be able to get Sherlock a permission to live with him, instead of on the campus, especially since his new job for the government promised to open some doors for him. 

 

But for now, Mycroft would just enjoy lying in their garden on a mild summer night, after having spent the better part of the day at the swimming pool. It was only a shame that there weren`t any meteor showers announced for tonight. Mycroft didn`t mention this last thought for fear of Sherlock thinking him a helpless romantic - if he didn`t already do that - and instead teased him warmly: "In this case, I should have told you about politics, when we were at that Italian restaurant yesterday. Or I could have explained economics to you at the zoo, last week or..." Soft lips interrupted Mycroft`s listing, but it didn`t take him long to respond to the kiss.

 

They were practiced at kissing each other by now, having done so at every opportunity for the last couple of weeks, which wasn`t to say that the feeling of Sherlock`s lips against his wasn`t thrilling every time. Mycroft slung his arms around Sherlock`s back, drawing the young man on top of him and opening his mouth to the teasing tongue of his brother. His fingers ran through messy curls and one hand pressed Sherlock closer to him, while Mycroft sucked on his brother`s lower lip and received a low moan in return. He grinned and did it again, forcing Sherlock to withdraw his tongue, when he groaned and allowing Mycroft an exploration of his own.

 

God help him, but he loved how Sherlock tasted. It was a combination of black tea, chocolates, honey and something so uniquely his brother`s, that Mycroft couldn`t name it. He could spend hours kissing Sherlock like that, but it seemed like his body had different planes. A groan caught in Mycroft`s throat, when Sherlock settled more firmly on top of him and brushed against his erection. An erection, Mycroft had been able to ignore so far, but he wasn`t able to continue denying himself, with Sherlock grinding against him. Especially not, when it was obvious that his little brother was just as turned on by their closeness as Mycroft was. He had to be numb and stupid to miss the hardness that pressed into his belly, whenever Sherlock moved against him.

 

Mycroft was more than happy that his little brother was as affected as Mycroft was, otherwise he wouldn`t have been able to face himself in the mirror at the end of the day. Not that they had done much to fuel Mycroft`s guilt so far. They had spent most nights kissing and cuddling in bed and the days going out or lazing around the house. Alright, they had gotten each other off a few times, in the last week, but they hadn`t gone farther than handjobs - and one blowjob from Mycroft - and therefore they hadn`t crossed the last invisible line... yet.

 

Mycroft`s train of thought was interrupted by his own moan, when Sherlock pressed down against him and his hard cock twitched at the wonderful friction. They weren`t kissing anymore, but panting in each other`s mouth and if they kept up that pace for much longer, then Mycroft was positive that they would both come into their pants. As appealing as that idea was, the young man wondered if it wasn`t possible to turn this evening into something much more special.

 

"Sherlock." He gripped the hips of his brother to still his frantic movements and was met with a frustrated whine and an affronted pout. "That`s unfair, Mycroft. I want to..."

 

"You want to come in your own pants in our garden?" Mycroft breathed quietly and felt the unmistakable heat radiating from Sherlock`s face at his words. "Or do you want to do something much more exciting, instead?" The question was whispered directly into Sherlock`s ear and Mycroft grinned, when his little brother sucked in a breath in reply. He just loved teasing Sherlock, but Mycroft still felt the need to add something else. "We will only go as far as you are comfortable with, but I thought that it would be a nice change to get all of our clothes off before it`s over."

 

They had only ever managed to kick off their pants and never bothered with the rest of their clothing. Something, Mycroft would like to change and going by Sherlock`s heavy breathing, his brother was all for it, as well. "In the garden?"

 

Mycroft considered the question for a second. They didn`t have any close neighbors - the closest almost a kilometer away - and it was unlikely that anyone would walk by their garden at this time of the night. So, it was fairly safe to stay outside, especially since it was a beautiful and warm night and Mycroft was always eager to fulfill Sherlock`s wishes. Still, they would need a few things, before they could get comfortable. The cover - on which they were lying - wasn`t sufficient for passionate activities.

 

Mycroft pushed Sherlock off of him and sprang to his feet, holding up a hand, when his brother made to get up as well. "I`ll just get some things to make us more comfortable. Just stay here and try to recall what I told you about constellations."

 

Sherlock`s beautiful laugh followed Mycroft into the house, where he made quick work of choosing the necessary items for their night together.

 

OOO

 

"Mother will kill you if you get grass stains on her expensive silk pillows." Sherlock reminded his brother with a laugh and was only met with a snort. Obviously, Mycroft didn`t care about the state of their silk pillows or he wouldn`t have brought them outside.

 

Sherlock watched fascinated how Mycroft arranged the cushions from the couch and covered them with a duvet, only to put all the silk pillows on one side of the make-shift bed. And yes, it definitely looked like a bed... a very comfortable bed, under the nightly sky. Heat crept into Sherlock`s cheeks when he imagined what they would do in it very soon. He wasn`t shy - not really - but he was nervous about going all the way with his brother tonight. The few handjobs - and the one memorable blowjob - had already been incredible and Sherlock really wanted to see his brother completely naked for the first time and to get off with him, but... he didn`t know if he was going to enjoy actual penetration. And that was, what this was all about, right? Mycroft certainly wasn`t going to so much trouble, for a simple making out session and he had told Sherlock that it was up to him what they were going to do but... Mycroft would certainly be disappointed if Sherlock wasn`t ready for him tonight. After all, Sherlock had thrown himself at Mycroft only a couple of weeks ago. His brother had to think that Sherlock was eager and ready for him. And he was, Sherlock told himself, as he got to his feet and walked over to his brother. His nerves were only playing a trick on him and as soon as Mycroft touched him, they would calm down and he would be able to enjoy their time together.

 

Mycroft reached for Sherlock and the younger man allowed his brother to draw him close. Their lips found each other`s for the countless time and Sherlock all but melted into the kiss. He loved the feel of Mycroft`s lips on his. The battle for dominance when their tongues met. The taste of his brother - black tea, cake, mints and something uniquely Mycroft. It was pure perfection and it got even better, when hands lifted his shirt and moved over the exposed flesh on Sherlock`s back. It was different than the one time at the swimming pool, since there had been other patrons and the touches had had to stay chaste. But tonight, no one was here to watch them. Sherlock grinned into the kiss and took a step back.

 

"What..." Mycroft protested and the younger man only smirked, before he pulled off his T-shirt and threw it aside. Next, Sherlock reached for the zipper of his shorts. "I can`t undress if you hold me so close, Myc," Sherlock teased his brother and watched in fascination, how Mycroft`s pupils dilated farther. His eyes appeared almost completely dark, when he met Sherlock`s gaze. "That would be very disadvantageous." It sounded almost vulgar, the way Mycroft`s low voice pronounced the words and Sherlock shuddered in response to it.

 

Somehow he managed to get his shorts and pants off, without harming himself in the process, considering how his hands trembled by the time, Sherlock was completely naked.

 

Silence.

 

Sherlock held his breath, not daring to look up, although he knew that his brother`s eyes were roaming all over him. Mycroft had told Sherlock time and time again that he found him beautiful, but this knowledge didn`t do anything to calm Sherlock`s nerves. Mycroft hadn`t seen him completely naked until now, only parts of him at a time and maybe, his brother had changed his mind. Maybe, he didn`t consider Sherlock beautiful anymore. Now, that he saw all of him and...

 

Warm hands touched his face and Sherlock slowly raised his head. Grey eyes, filled with wonder, stared at him. "God, you are so beautiful, Sherly. I don`t know how I even deserve you."

 

Sherlock gulped at the honesty in his brother`s voice and it took him a few attempts, until he was able to speak again. The words came out more husky than Sherlock had intended. "If you didn`t deserve me, no one would and you are beautiful yourself, Myc."

 

Blue eyes roamed over the naked body of his brother - he was faster at undressing than Sherlock was. His shoulders were broader than Sherlock`s, his chest well muscled and his belly was softly rounded- far from being fat and only showing Mycroft`s love for cake. More interesting even was the proud cock that stood at attention between Mycroft`s legs. It was long and thick, it`s head red and swollen. The foreskin had already retreated and Sherlock really wanted to know how it tasted. He knew the feel of Mycroft`s cock in his hand, but there was still some significant data missing, as long as Sherlock hadn`t had it in his mouth.

 

A low chuckle interrupted his musing and a deep flush spread over Sherlock`s features, when he met the sparkling eyes of his brother, although most of his blood was rushing away from his face and pooling between Sherlock`s legs.

 

"Patience, brother mine," Mycroft murmured in a low voice.

 

Sherlock didn`t have the time to argue with his brother about this ridiculous virtue, when eager lips were pressed against his and they both stumbled backwards and onto the make-shift bed.

 

OOO

 

How did he deserve that?

 

Mycroft marveled at the smart and beautiful young man, who he was allowed to call his brother and lover. Sherlock looked like a young God, who had climbed down from heaven to grace the world of the mere mortals with his presence. His curls were more messy than ever, after Mycroft had run his hands through them time and time again. Plush lips were swollen and red from kissing. A lovely flush spread over Sherlock`s face and down to his chest, where pink and hard nipples begged for Mycroft`s attention. He reached up with one hand and pinched one pink bud with his fingers. Sherlock moaned, his voice lower than usual as passion clouded his features. Yes, Mycroft decided, his younger brother was the epitome of perfection and he hadn`t even counted in Sherlock`s marble skin and his long, lean legs yet.

 

"Two can play that game, Myc," Sherlock whispered from his position on top of his brother and before Mycroft could react, eager lips closed around one of his nipples and... sucked.

 

"God!"

 

Mycroft didn`t know if it was a plea or a prayer, when Sherlock started teasing his nipples in earnest. He only knew that he didn`t want the young man to stop. Mycroft`s chest had always been very sensitive. Still, no one had ever managed to turn him on like that with such simple touches. Probably, it was because Sherlock was the one sucking and pinching his nipples and that made all the difference in the world to Mycroft. His younger brother could pull out a knife and grave his name into Mycroft`s flesh and he would still get off on it.

 

"You are a complete mess." Sherlock`s voice was teasingly and Mycroft didn`t have the strength to argue with him. Especially not, when he was aware that his brother was right. His hair was disheveled. He was gasping for breath. Sweat was trickling down his body. His cock was throbbing with every beat of his heart and... Mycroft loved every second of it.

 

"Thanks to you, Sherly." The younger man sent a cheeky grin his way and Mycroft marveled - not for the first time - at the fact that Sherlock was so... dominant. Yes, at first, his younger brother had been rather shy and unsure of how to touch him, but after he had overcome his initial insecurities, Sherlock had turned rather bold. Mycroft certainly wasn`t going to complain. He loved to see Sherlock so sure of himself. Especially since Mycroft had always liked when his lovers had taken the initiative, although he had never allowed them to dominate the game beyond a certain point. But with Sherlock, Mycroft would happily...

 

"Christ!"

 

The young man threw his head back, when Sherlock swallowed most of his cock, without warning. Had Mycroft mentioned that his brother was a bloody genius, today? Because he was. His technique was still a little off, but Sherlock made up for it with enthusiasm and even if he had decided to treat Mycroft`s cock like a lollipop, the young man would still have enjoyed it to the fullest. As it was, it took all of his strength to prevent himself from thrusting into Sherlock`s willing mouth, when his passion rose to new highs. Another time, maybe, Mycroft tried to calm himself and almost lost it, when warm fingers started massaging his balls. Another time, when he had made sure that Sherlock was prepared for Mycroft to thrust into his mouth and when his younger brother was in a more comfortable position... if he was willing to try it, of course.

 

Somehow, Sherlock managed to fit even more of Mycroft`s length in his mouth and the young man was unable to suppress a groan. If Sherlock kept on like that, then Mycroft would... he would...

 

The young man almost screamed in disappointment, when the wet warmth of Sherlock`s mouth left him, but any protests were drowned in a deep kiss. His brother would be the death of him, one of these days, Mycroft mused, when he tasted himself on Sherlock`s lips and his cock gave an impatient throb.

 

"Myc." Dark blue eyes looked down at him - a mix of determination and nervousness in them - and then the bottle of lube was pressed in Mycroft`s hand.

 

"Sherlock?" The young man frowned slightly, when his brother rolled onto his back and spread his legs for him. It was fairly obvious what it was that he wanted, but at the same time, it was also highly confusing. Not that Mycroft hadn`t dreamed of making love to his little brother, but to him it had rather appeared like Sherlock was about to claim him.

 

Mycroft got to his knees and settled between the spread thighs of his little brother, trying to figure out why Sherlock wanted it this way. Not that Mycroft was complaining, but it was a rather sudden change in the dynamics of their love making and Sherlock had never shown any interest in penetration so far. Alright, they had only gone out for two weeks and had been intimate for one of them, but still...

 

"Do you really want that?"

 

Sherlock nodded, determined eyes boring in Mycroft`s and the elder man agreed quietly. "Alright, but we can stop anytime. Just say a word." His brother nodded again and Mycroft leaned in for a deep kiss, taking his time while exploring Sherlock`s mouth and only when the younger man melted into the kiss, did Mycroft uncap the lube. He squeezed some of the clear liquid on his fingers and traced a way from Sherlock`s thighs to his buttocks, without breaking their kiss. A shudder ran through the lean body under him at the first touch of Mycroft`s fingers at Sherlock`s hole and the young man stopped his movements. Instead he showered his brother`s face and neck with kisses, his free hand squeezing Sherlock`s nipples, until the young man was a panting mess. Only then, Mycroft rubbed the tight ring of muscle and pushed the tip of his finger past it. He didn`t push in deeper and only wriggled his finger a little as he blew kisses on every part of Sherlock he could reach. Only when no protests were forthcoming and his brother had relaxed once more, did Mycroft push deeper into him.

 

A distressed whimper emerged from Sherlock`s throat and Mycroft`s eyes snapped up at once. The eyes of his brother were clamped shut and his lips were pressed into a thin line. He looked like he was enduring a drilling at the dentist`s without anesthesia. One glance at Sherlock`s deflated - and only half hard cock - revealed how spot on Mycroft`s comparison was. "Christ, Sherlock!" He cursed quietly, but without any real heat and withdrew his finger. He scrambled up to his brother`s side and brought them face to face.

 

"Why did you stop?" Mycroft almost screamed in disbelief at the question, but one look at the scared, blue eyes of his brother held the words on the tip of his tongue and he merely shook his head. "You didn`t enjoy it. I`m certainly not continuing something, you don`t enjoy. That privilege his reserved for Historic homework."

 

The ghost of a smile flickered over Sherlock`s lips, but then his brother shook his head. "I just have to get used to it. You can go on and..."

 

"Don`t ever suggest to me that I continue something that makes you uncomfortable, Sherly! I won`t stand for the consequences."

 

Blue eyes widened in surprise and Mycroft almost believed that he had convinced his brother that he wouldn`t go back to fingering him, when a very well known - at least to Mycroft - stubborn look entered Sherlock`s eyes. "I`ll never get used to it, if you don`t continue and I know that you want to... take me."

 

Mycroft raised an eyebrow at the wording. "First of all, it`s not necessarily a question of getting used to it. Yes, maybe," he continued, before Sherlock could interrupt him. "You will start enjoying it, when it doesn`t feel strange to your body anymore, but that won`t happen right away. Besides, not all men enjoy penetration and it`s completely fine if you don`t."

 

"But how am I to find out if I enjoy it, if you don`t go on?" Sherlock sounded triumphant as if he had finally found the perfect argument, but Mycroft only smirked at him. "Touch yourself, try if you can get off with a finger inside you."

 

Sherlock`s face turned crimson and Mycroft couldn`t help himself. He pressed a chaste kiss to the heated cheek of his brother, before he turned to another topic that was bothering him. "How do you come to the conclusion that I want to - to use your own words - take you?"

 

Mycroft followed the movement of Sherlock`s Adam`s Apple, when the young man swallowed and averted his eyes. "I assumed... we didn`t have real sex so far and you prepared everything," Sherlock gestured to the make shift bed. "And I thought that you would want to... sleep with me."

 

Mycroft sighed inwardly. He should have known that Sherlock would come to such a conclusion and it was his fault that he hadn`t told his brother what he had had in mind for tonight. Or better, that he didn`t have any concrete plan as to how this night should play out. "Firstly," Mycroft cradled Sherlock`s face in his hands and forced the younger man to meet his eyes. "We have had real sex. It`s not only sex when penetration is involved and I would have been more than happy if we had continued like the past week." Blue eyes widened in disbelief and Mycroft hurried on to prevent Sherlock from interrupting him. "Secondly, I don`t see why you think that you have to be... eh on the receiving end. And if it`s only because you are the younger one, then I`m going to take all the Greek literature away from you."

 

The cheeky grin of his brother spoke more than thousand words and Mycroft chuckled quietly, when he reached for the lube and placed it on Sherlock`s chest. "There is no pressure," he told his brother, before Sherlock came to the wrong conclusion. "And if you don`t want to, we can do something else - there are lots of possibilities to get off without penetration being involved - but if you want to... I would be... I would very much like for you to... make love to me. And I assure you," Mycroft rushed through the end of his little speech to prevent himself from stuttering. "I`m very fond of it, although I only figured that out myself."

 

Mycroft held his breath as Sherlock`s eyes grew as big as tennis balls as he absorbed all the new information about his elder brother, who had just revealed to Sherlock that he was still untouched in one, specific way. Finally, after what felt like hours, a brilliant smile lit up Sherlock`s face. "I would like that very much, Myc."

 

The following kiss was as deep and sweet as was possible in such a situation and Mycroft allowed his brother to maneuver them, until Sherlock was on top and smiling down at the Mycroft.

 

OOO

 

His brother was wonderful... and Sherlock was an idiot.

 

Sherlock smiled ruefully down at Mycroft, who returned his smile. How Sherlock had ever thought that his brother would be upset if he wasn`t going to take Sherlock tonight was a mystery to the younger man. Alright, his reasoning had sounded fairly logical to Sherlock, until he had voiced his thoughts to Mycroft and his brother had shown him how stupid it had been. Of course, Mycroft wouldn`t want Sherlock to force himself to do something, he wasn`t comfortable with. After all, this was his beloved elder brother, who had volunteered to eat all the beans, so that the nannies hadn`t forced them on Sherlock, years ago. The young man, who had taken Sherlock to the cinema, the museum, the zoo and a Fish & Chips restaurant in London, because he wanted to make Sherlock happy. Yes, he had been a fool to assume for even a second that Mycroft would want him to endure penetrative sex for his sake.

 

Sherlock placed a kiss on Mycroft`s belly and at the content sigh he received, he put another one right next to it and then kissed his way down to the erect cock of his brother. It had deflated during their conversation and Sherlock would make sure that Mycroft was fully aroused again, before he did anything else. After all, it wasn`t everyday that so much trust was placed in Sherlock and he would make the first time of his brother memorable.

 

Teasingly, he nudged the head of Mycroft`s cock with his tongue and grinned when a low groan echoed through the night. Who would have thought that his elder brother was quite so vocal? Sherlock was glad that they didn`t have any neighbors to speak of, when he took half of Mycroft`s proud length in his mouth and his brother moaned even louder. They would have called the police by now and wouldn`t that have gotten over badly?

 

Sherlock chuckled at the mental picture of police men finding them like that and he felt Mycroft`s cock twitch in his mouth. Good, they were on the right track. Hollowing his cheeks, Sherlock sucked Mycroft as hard as he could and tasted around for the bottle of lube with his free hand. He would have had to interrupt the blowjob, if his brother hadn`t pushed it his way and Sherlock hummed in thanks, which tore another groan from Mycroft`s throat.

 

The liquid was clear and cool on his fingers and Sherlock took some time to warm it, before he moved his hand down between Mycroft`s buttocks. He had read enough about anal sex - one would be amazed what could be found at the library - to know that it would be a bad idea to push his fingers in at once. Instead, Sherlock circled the tight ring of muscle with his index finger and teased the head of Mycroft`s cock at the same time, until he felt his brother relax. Only then, Sherlock carefully pushed in a finger and worked his way inside his brother. His own cock gave an interested twitch at the proceedings, but Sherlock ignored it for now. He wasn`t desperate enough to hurry things along just yet and he would rather take his time with the preparation. This way, they would both be able to enjoy every second of their lovemaking.

 

Sherlock pushed his finger in deeper and wriggled it in all directions. He had studied enough anatomy books to have an idea where the prostate was located and judging from how many nerve endings came together in this knob, it should feel amazing for a man when it was touched.

 

"Ahh, Sher...lock!"

 

His theory was confirmed. Sherlock smirked and his cock throbbed impatiently, when he looked up and his eyes fell on Mycroft. His brother was nearly undone. His usually neat hair was a mess. His upper body was covered in sweat. Face and chest were flushed crimson and his nipples were pink and swollen, from the former attention Sherlock had bestowed upon them.

 

"More, Sherly!"

 

The young man added more lube to his fingers, before he fulfilled his brothers wish and pushed in a second finger and when no protests were forthcoming a third one. Mycroft tensed and Sherlock felt the muscles around his fingers clench. Shit, that had been a little too fast.

 

Sherlock was about to withdraw his hand, but Mycroft`s voice stopped him. "Don`t, just... I need some time to... relax." The voice of his elder brother was strained, but his erection hadn`t deflated and there wasn`t any noticeable pain in the lines of his face, when Sherlock looked up to check. Therefore, he complied with Mycroft`s wish and left his fingers where they were, while sucking on the head of his brother`s cock at the same time.

 

Obviously, it had been the right decision to make. The muscles around his fingers loosened and Sherlock gave the proud erection another suck, before he pushed his fingers deeper into his brother.

 

"God, Sherlock! Yes, that`s... please, again!"

 

That truly was a lot of fun, Sherlock mused as he pushed his fingers in his brother again and again, teasing Mycroft`s throbbing erection occasionally, while he listened to the lust filled screams of his brother.

 

Clear liquid was leaking from Mycroft`s cock and Sherlock licked it up greedily. He savored the slightly bitter taste, that was purely his brother`s. By now, Mycroft was all but fucking himself on Sherlock`s fingers and as much as Sherlock enjoyed the picture, his throbbing cock made it clear to him that he couldn`t wait much longer if he didn`t want it to end too fast.

 

"Myc?" The one word held a plea and a question and his brother only nodded when Sherlock met his gaze. Carefully, Sherlock withdrew his fingers and reached for a condom, when his brother`s hand stopped him. "Don`t... I want to... feel you come inside me."

 

A slight frown appeared on Sherlock`s face at that. He was fast to admit that he wasn`t the most careful person in the world, but even he had heard about safer sex. Not that Sherlock had engaged in any sexual activities before and therefore the chances that he could give anything to his brother were extremely low, but they weren`t nil.

 

"Please, Sherly." The blush in Mycroft`s cheeks intensified. He looked adorable, flushed like this. "I have always used condoms with... others. No matter what I did, but... I want you... just this once."

 

A weight - that Sherlock hadn`t recognized until then - lifted from Sherlock`s heart, after hearing that Mycroft`s wish was an exception and not his rule, but his hand still hovered over the small package. "What if I caught something at the swimming pool? I would give it to you and..."

 

His brother rolled his eyes at that and somehow he was able to make it look annoyed, even with his legs spread wide and his body flushed with passion. "If that were the case, you would have shown symptoms by now and you haven`t... I have watched you. And we were only at our own swimming pool today... it`s unlikely that you caught anything there. So, just... please do it, Sherly!"

 

Sherlock took another minute, before he finally nodded and squeezed some lube on his hands to spread it over his needy cock. Mycroft had a point and Sherlock wasn`t keen on farther discussions, while he was desperate for release.

 

"Ready?" Sherlock asked and at Mycroft`s nod, slowly pushed into his brother.

 

Dear God...

 

Sherlock gripped Mycroft`s hips to hold himself back, when the tight heat enfolded him. He was only able to stop himself from thrusting into his brother by the sheer force of his will and the utter trust mirrored in Mycroft`s eyes, while Sherlock inched deeper into him. They were both panting by the time, Sherlock was completely seated inside his brother.

 

"Alright?" He pressed out and sacked in relief when Mycroft nodded. "Perfect and now move already!"

 

Sherlock didn`t have the chance to reply, when his brother wriggled his hips and the sensation became too much for the younger man to ignore. Slowly at first - and then faster with every thrust- Sherlock moved in and out of Mycroft. He angled his strokes anew every time, until his brother groaned passionately and his cock twitched between their bodies.

 

Good, since Sherlock doubted that he would last long this time. Heat was already building up in his belly and his balls were aching with the need for release. He reached out with one hand to stroke Mycroft`s cock, while keeping up his fast pace at the same time. Sherlock`s movements were bare of any rhythm, but they were obviously enough for his brother, when he came between them with a loud scream. Mycroft`s semen splattered his belly as well as Sherlock`s chest and neck. The warm liquid was the last straw for the young man and after half a dozen more strokes, he followed his brother over the edge and came in Mycroft with a groan.

 

Sherlock would have collapsed on top of his brother, if it hadn`t been for Mycroft`s hands that held him upright, until Sherlock was able to pull out of him. He fell down next to his brother and snuggled up to his side right away.

 

Seconds and then minutes ticked by, as neither of them moved. No one spoke - there were no words to describe their feelings - while they enjoyed the gentle breeze on their hot skin. Finally, when a faint shudder ran through Sherlock`s body, his brother drew a thin cover on over them and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

 

"I love you, Sherly."

 

From the shocked look on Mycroft`s face - after voicing these words - Sherlock gathered that his brother hadn`t planned this confession and he smiled at the realisation, before kissing the insecurity away from Mycroft`s lips. "I love you, too, Myc."

 

No more words were spoken, when Sherlock bedded his head on Mycroft`s shoulder and drifted off to sleep, secure in the arms of his brother and the knowledge that Mycroft would always be there to hold him.


End file.
